Saturday, December 15, 2007

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

I had a nightmare this morning. I'm trying to work out whether to make it important. It might be just a really good story I told myself, but it also might be that the reason it feels important is because I need to make it important, I need to attach a meaning to it. If I can figure out what the meaning is, and why I want to use the nightmare to emphasize it, I can skip that part and go straight to exploring the concept.

So this rambling brain dump is to help me figure out the meaning.

Being held hostage by my past. Being too worn out to change it without help. Feeling trapped by selfishness and fear. Being unable to acknowledge my own strengths. Being bespelled by invasion of my boundaries. Beginning to assert my will over it, but fumbling as if coming out of a drugged stupor. Weakened and slowed but not stopped any longer. As I begin attempting to make the change, help from unexpected sources.

Yeah, there's something in there. The story is still good, though. Maybe I'll try to write it up.

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