Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Grief on Anniversaries

My mother's birthday falls this week; if she were alive, she would be turning 68. She'd be a great-grandmother and I know that would have thrilled her. I doubt we'd be speaking, though. Her illness and death freed me to forgive her and move on with my life, a lesson I have applied without necessity of death to other past relationships.

I don't miss her.


Anonymous said...

Why don't you miss her?

Kai Jones said...

Mostly because we didn't have a particularly friendly relationship for years before she died. It's not as if we spent time together doing fun things and being happy; I had long since ceased to enjoy her company, since she always made it clear that I wasn't good enough for her.

Anonymous said...

I suppose it was more of a; "Do you not miss her because you didn't like her?" or "Do you not miss her because you are strong and have learned to cope and move on?" type of question.

It sounds like the former.

Kai Jones said...

I liked her--she was entertaining, intelligent, a good conversationalist.

None of that made up for the mean things she said to me nearly every time we spoke, or her refusal to acknowledge and apologize for any of the choices she made that affected me negatively, like taking my ex-husband's side in our divorce.